someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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