You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Actions speak louder than pants.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
