That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
