Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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