I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
