was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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