Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
