I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
