This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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