we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
