If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
