Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
