talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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