she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
