weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize