apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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