Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
