see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
only if we run a train.
done.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
