Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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