you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
