You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
