Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
