There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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