So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My hand turned me down
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
