I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize