so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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