Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
