It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
