so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
