just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
