it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
