Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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