i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
