At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
