It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
