I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
