you win again, gameday.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
