Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
