I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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