It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
