I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
