So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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