At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
