Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
