just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
