Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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