hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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