I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
