4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
