Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize