Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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