Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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