kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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