he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
