Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
