All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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