Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
