i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
