At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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