Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you never un-have a 4some
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
