One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
