well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
