he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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