why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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