K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
