Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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