I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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