But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
