at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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