Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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