Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
