if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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