i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
