did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
